• 
  Sigh~
  
• I just wanted to fulfil one of my wish and tat is to dye my hair ash blonde..
• Then, now i have granted myself tat wish.
• But, now i'm like the center of attraction everywhere i go.. wtf..
• I used to like attention, but who i am now, is someone who just wanna be left alone.
• And i am in the process of eliminating people who has been a burden or threat to me.
• So far, 5 ppl had been erased off, in my life..
• So those who wanna keep in contact wif me, just be careful not to b a burden.
• Any tis is a pic of my new hairhair~

Monday, January 16, 2006

*****<CURRENTLY MISSING IN ACTION>*****

-try not to contact me for the time being la... not tat u cant. u ppl can try...
-i may also not be able to appear on time, so in any emergency situation pls do not rely on me...
-i juz wanna b alone, so juz let me be k...
-will b back wif u guys, when the time is right...


BACK IN 76 days...

MIA

bOoM!!
12:00 PM

sigh.. ytd almost fucking got into a fight la... nb.. nvm.. dun feel like toking abt it anyway... life's all messed up now.. it seems like i haven been doing anything to solve all my things.. firstly, i wanna get rid of the problem i have wif hafiz.. he hates me, but i'm going to juz tok things thru wif him la.. bcoz he dun understand some things... secondly, the getting into fight thing.. sigh.. can also sae is my fault la.. i realli tired of getting into tis kind of fucking trouble.. so from now on, i muz reconfigure my mask, and be someone tat doesnt speak its mind anymore.. i should act more introvert from now on...

come to think of it, i find myself too complex for ppl to understand.. coz i, myself dun even fully understand me ... and those who realli sae they understand me, are juz crap la... anyway.. its realli merely impossible for ppl to understand me la.. i still been acting all this yrs.. but i realise tat there are at least part of me tat is real la.. even though my whole fake character is made up of parts and pieces of other people but there are same parts tat are me.. but its like 1-3% of the real ppl is being showed to the ppl around me.

most part of the real me, has long been dead... i forgot wad is real happiness? how to really smile? wad i'm doing is juz to carter to ppls' need.. living dead body.. my onli hope is someone tat can revive my heart and let me taste love once again.. not tat i nv tasted love.. but its juz tat, most of my exs gave me love, but den, taking it and not giving out love.. tat is why it tasted plain. when i realli can taste love and feel joy for the first time in my life den i know.. u are the rite one for me..

i dunno why la.. but i realli will take things around me for granted.. and for all my exs, they are juz tools for me to get wad i wan out of them.. and i always suceed.. so wad are surprises? bcoz i decide on wad i wan and i achieved in getting it, so there are no surprises at all.. i mean even if i didnt ask someone to buy something for me, but they bought me something, i may pretend to b happy and touched or wadsoever, but deep inside, i will still take it for the sake of taking it even those it is suppose to b a surprise but my mind will think in the way, they are expected to do tat and stuff la.. so anyway.. i'm abit pissed wif everything.. need time alone.. so let me be...

Beng Me..

bOoM!!
11:30 AM

Friday, January 13, 2006

Anyway!!!! This is my personal individual blog!!! so wad i write here, its ALL my own and only opinion!!! NOT opinions of others!!! so wad i sae abt someone!!! it is JUST ONLY MY OPINION!!! dun drag others in!!! whoRE!!!!

attention

bOoM!!
6:54 PM

Thursday, January 12, 2006

omfg.. i'm sick once again... sianz.. today nv go sch.. i think is bcoz of tis stupid monsoon season la!! rain and rain non stop.. fucking idiotic sia.. anyway i was alrite ytd nite.. went to take neoprint wif shanice and zohra.. den had dinner at kfc.. after shopping for awhile, shanice felt like vommiting den went to toilet.. first time round she didnt vomit, until second time.. den she went in again and vommited chicken!! lolx.. den at tat time i started having running nose.. those terrible one.. den both of us can sense tat we are getting sick.. so we went home.. and todae.. both of us didnt go sch.. sad...

sick sick sick~~~

bOoM!!
1:30 PM

Monday, January 09, 2006

i went to the pub opposite of the sembawang air base... drank up to 4 jugs wif asta, her sis and her fren.. den after tat.. asta's sis wanna dance, so she suggested momo.. den we ended up at momo... dance and drink until 4am den i reached home at 5am.. den have to wake up at 10am for my family gathering.. I have to go for the buffet.. sianz.. after tat, went to play lan wif my couz.. played dota until 3pm.. den go home.. so tired lo.. sianz.. den overslept again to go for sch today... still got sch sia.. Zzzz... den i nv rent lappy todae.. totally rot lo.. tmr get to meet my didi le.. so good.. woooo... kk.. chill~

CluBbY

bOoM!!
12:38 PM

Friday, January 06, 2006

yesterday nite, i dreamt of hafiz (a malay guy in my class from previous sem till tis sem, so i know him for abt a yr le) i dunno why la.. when i think of it, the feelings still linger in my heart.. so i'm abit confused and sad.. everytime i think of it, i will b on the verge of crying.. why is tis so??? i do not know the answer myself too... sigh.. I dreamt of myself playing wif him(sexually) and i was frenching wif him.. den i can still feel tat there is realli the feeling of love when i was making out wif him in my dream. So confused!!!

today hor... is the day of crapz... we at first were watching the talking cock movie, den later my team members hor.. start crapping more than the movie lo!!! damn irritating... they like big jokers lo.. today we have to do some interview, den we ask tis fucking horny auntie tat works in the canteen of our school. She is damn lame lo, ask her everything she sae she dunno, den sae things like she is high class and the fucking part is.. she claims tat she dun so easily let ppl interview, is onli bcoz we buy food from her and also bcoz i'm handsome tat's y she make an exception. wtf lo.. trying to flirt wif me... but too bad lo.. firstly, coz i dun go for older gers, secondly she is ugly and lastly i'm not straight!!!!! haiz... wadever it is.. she is one siao old bitch la...

today, i am going to watch the movie tat i long wanted to watch... the chinese tall story!!! i finally get to watch it later.. going to kiap soft toys wif michelle den hav dinner den go for movie.. tat will b my programmes for today...

toking cock!!!

bOoM!!
2:52 PM

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

SchoOl goes on as usual, the night before i was unable to sleep, fear that i will feel awkward with my classmates but surprisely everything went olrite.. First day of sch, the problem so bloody hard liao lo!! nabei!! what stupid sickle blood cell aneumia.. things to do wif DNA, mRNA, tRNA, Proteins.. saying all this here also no use.. coz u all also wun understand.. lolx...

anyway hor.. abt tat stupid thing tat ying and xue being toking abt... i think its abit stupid to think so much abt it la.. realli.. i think.. juz let it be la.. i mean.. all along i've been living a life without her wad(she always havent been around).. so there is realli no much changes in MY life even if she leaves.. tat is wad i think la.. realli.. mayb not to the rest of u la.. no point wad.. i mean.. she also dun contribute much in the frenship(not tat she didnt juz not as much as the rest).. not tat i'm being mean or wad la.. but its the fact.. she thinks tat having us as frenz are a burden.. why don she think tat she is more of a burden to keep now...

All of these are so obvious lo.. she sae so herself, tat we dun clique anymore and stuff.. its all true.. i mean, she live such a LUXURIOUS life, tat she thinks lowly of wad we do(i will feel tis way coz wad we do, she dislike, for e.g smoking and drinking and playing).. our interest are no longer the same.. n interest are part of wad tat keeps the frenship going..(interest in the way, the things we like to do, we smoke, does she? no wad) if she cant bring herself to do wad we do, den we also haf no choice.. a RICH ger can do wad a poor ger does, but NV a poor ger can do wad a RICH ger does... tat's a fact.. she thinks we nv ask her out, but wad abt her?! she grows tired of asking out so easily.. so why SHOULD we make the effort den?!( i mean we still ask each other out, but she no longer does.. why? coz she think its sian)

To xue, maybe to u, she means alot to u, but den.. good things will have to end someday ya? so sometimes u juz hav to let it go, even though there is no valid reason to it.. aiya.. toking abt tis, juz make me FUCKING SICK la.. so ya.. anyway, if u all plan to do anything to get her back or wadsoever, juz dun get mi involve, as i dun wanna b in part of tis stupid situation. Juz let it be la k.. (everything is all up to her)

Dun worry la k, xue and ying.. without her, our life will go on(its true wad, i mean life is cruel, someone precious will leave u someday, at tat point of time, we will still have to move on).. and we will still have each other to rely on.. take care!! love ya bitches... Sorrie if i hurt u. but tis is wad u make me feel rite now...

uTterLy PatHetic

bOoM!!
4:55 PM

Sunday, January 01, 2006

WaAHha!!! ItS NeW YeAR.... i EnJoYed MysELf oN tHE DAy OF COuNTdOwn... i WAs wiF YiNg N XuE oN NeW yR eVe.. We went to amk to eat and play arcade.. when this fucking grp of bengs and lians come and disturb me when i'm playing para para!!! they want to make me fail just because i'm so much better THAN them.. tsk tsk... childish losers.. den we were abit pissed, so we end up at ps arcade to play like siao, coz got free 20 dollars value in my card ma.. den after tat we walk to town and i'm so happy i got sprayed by people.. all thanks to kn!! lolx.. we wonder abt after the countdown.. we stayed out until the first train start functioning.. ying dumped us at 5am!! coz she went off wif weide!!! and left both of us.. cold and lonely... sniff.. den we were so desperate tat we went opposite of far east to have mac breakfast wif our ez link card... haiz.. den after tat.. we waited for awhile and got on to the train.. i feel so sick, and also dunno why abit high when i was in the train.. alot of things juz came crashing into my mind.. sigh.. den reached home and 7 plus.. slept at 8 den now just wake up.. so tired.. i miss u baby...

HaPpY NeW YeAR!!!

bOoM!!
9:37 PM